and adult themed titles.
For example, today's title *should* read FoundNemo In The Toilet Gives Obsydiian Blow Job.
Oh, look at all the gears turning in your dirty little minds!
But, then, that would be part of the fun in using such titles. Many, many people pretend not to be the perverts they are. So, I like to have a little fun with them. Me? Without a doubt, I'm a perv. And so are most of the Misfits. That's what attracted me to the Trowser Snake Charmer and Kruella Goodbush sisters, and the rest of the Face Stabbing Misfits in the first place!
So, it's only fair (and fun) to play on such perversions.
Besides, I still have a great laugh whenever I think about that time Kru was running her alt by the name of The Main Vein, and her hubby, Craygar, who was in the party with us said "Okay, guys, so long as we keep The Main Vein up when we go in there, we'll be alright."
It could've been said that that particular evening's adventures were a deep penetration of the splinterskull fortress!
Ha!
You know you're laughing right now. Even if it isn't with your outside voice, you're still laughing!
So, now...
About that blow job...
Last night saw Robinous check in for some adventuring. He's been stuck at Level 9 for quite some time now, and has been scratching the dirt looking for any little bit of XP he can find in that midbie wasteland, slowly draging himself across the rocky desert floor, through snake-infested sagebrush, and around sprawling beds of cacti, toward that elusive Level 10.
Yes, the mid-ranges really are that bad.
He's been stuck at Level 9 for at least three months now.
'course, if he'd log in a little more often...
:o)
Just kidding, Robin!
Anyway... Robinous was looking for about ten thousand XP to finally break the Level 10 barrier. At the same time, Rhy (Bashal/Confrag/Stonehands/etc.) was looking to complete the Vault of the Night (VoN) series, in preparation for a Dragon raid being hosted by the Lifetakers and Heartbreakers this coming weekend. How convenient for Robinous that Rhy is within level-range, that he could benefit from the run. And, even participate in a Dragon raid!!!
Particularly since The Jungle of Khyber, chapter 3 in the VoN series will earn you at least nine thousand XP on completion of the Normal difficulty, at least the first few times you run it at level. And there's plenty of XP to go with that in the first two chapters as well... So the plan for the evening was to earn Robinous his Level 10, and to get Rhy Dragon-ready, or as much so that we can complete the process in the following evenings leading up to the weekend.
Of course, Murders (Tanision/Puddintan), Factotum (Roulph/Belzur) and Obsydiian (yours truly) were along for the ride, leaving us with one open slot in the party.
That's where FoundNemo (CaptinBob/CaptinNemo) comes into play.
He *must* have been bored out of his skull to join any party that I'm in, because he *knows* I like to give him a hard time. (He's such a good sport!)
And, as soon as he joined the party, I announced over voice chat "Awesome! Now I get my own personal Cleric, and the rest of you get Nemo!" Of course, grotesque chuckles at the bad joke ensued, but, what else did you expect?!?
Nemo got his revenge, though...
Shortly thereafter, while we were waiting around in the Ever Full Flagon for Robinous to make his appearance, FoundNemo ran over to Obsydiian and kicked him in the shin.
He must've broken his toe, though, as he ran away quickly after that, then threw a heal on himself. I guess he forgot that Obsydiian has an Adamantine body. Unusual for a Sorcerer, I know, but highly effective in protecting against bruised shins.
When Robinous finally showed up, we jumped into the Tharashk Arena. And, as always, we vanquished the droves of so-called champions lurking in tunnels, training- and ready-rooms below the venue in very short order.
After a brief chat with Marek Malcanus, we set out to see if we couldn't assist Mistress Orphne in the Prison of the Mind.
For those not especially familiar with the quest, let's just say that if you fall off any of the platforms, the quest is over. And that there are plenty of wind bridges designed precisely to blow your character off of the bridges to force a quest failure.
Now, over the years that I've played DDO, I've visited Mistress Orphne's prison many times. And, have had to repeat the quest many times because my own characters have been blown off of various bridges and platforms...
But I've never been blown off the particular bridge I was blown off last night.
In fact, I'd *just* made the comment that I was going to follow Nemo across the bridge where you pick up the wooden dagger, in case he was blown off. Wouldn't you know it!!! Obsydiian jumped down off the ledge and ran over to the safe spot, marked on the bridge by an X, and arrived just behind Nemo, who gave Syd a shove back into the fresh gust of wind, which then sent Syd sailing off the bridge!
Can you believe it?!? Syd *shoved* off the bridge by a Halfling Cleric!!!
I thought for a moment that Syd might make it to a ledge, but decided it best to recall out of the quest before it forced a failure for everyone.
And, I remembered that, after disconnecting from the game, if you immediately log back in to the same character, you'll still end up with a failed quest, so I logged into Trin, forcing a clean break from the group, and *then* logged back into Syd to rejoin the party.
Still...
Syd was pushed!
And it wasn't the kind of blow job he'd have preferred!
Mangey Halfing Clerics!
No hard feelings, though, Nemo! I realize that, along with greasing everyone down, you just like giving folks blow jobs...
Perv!
:-P
The remainder of the Prison was relatively uneventful. Though, surprisingly, Obsydiian had the highest Diplomacy skill in the group, and had the dubious privilege of convincing the Fire Giant to allow us to claim Orphne's mirror without a fight from him.
It worked, anyway.
And our trip through the Jungle of Khyber, though interesting where we had to deal with the Beholders, was relatively easy.
And it was upon completion of the Jungle of Khyber that Robinous finally earned his Level 10!
Congratulations, Robinous!!!
(That's his highest level character so far. It's quite an accomplishment!)
I'm sure this evening will see us take on Haywire's Foundry. As convoluted as it is, I really enjoy it. And our group of Face Stabbing Misfits seems diversified enough to handle most any eventuality. We'll just have to see how well we can pervert that quest!
Keep it fun!!!
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